I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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