Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
