Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
