I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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