I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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