you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
