i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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