I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
