worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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