I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
