I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
