I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think people are normalizing furries
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
