found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
