Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
