What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
