I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
