We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
