Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Randomize
