is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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