I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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