so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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