At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize