Don't you send me to vm
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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