Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
