i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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