I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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