Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
