i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
