Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
