Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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