so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
