I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
