So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
organizing the empties. That sober.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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