Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
BRING THE BAGELS
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
