I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
