didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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