she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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