i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
