there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
