You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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