It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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