Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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