I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
