How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
