Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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