Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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