Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
MIDGETS
????
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
