You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
