I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just googled if crying burns calories
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
