I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
