she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize