I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
