Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
