My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
