So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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