He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I won't apologize to a one balled man
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
