I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize