absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
